14 January 2012

Discouragement


Isn't it interesting how easy it is to turn us against ourselves? For how harshly we all judge each other, the saddest part is the exponential increase in judgment against ourselves. When somebody does something that bothers me I have to remind myself that more than likely I am just projecting my disappointment in my own behavior and that it is less about them. We are our harshest critics. There is a Selena Gomez song that I like (I know, I know). In "Who Says" she sings

"Who says
Who says you’re not start potential
Who says you’re not presidential
Who says you can’t be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don’t pass the test
Who says you can’t be the best
Who said, who said
Won’t you tell me who said that"

But the really funny thing in life is that usually, not always but usually, aren't we the ones to say that we can't or that we aren't good enough. We doubt ourselves, we disapprove of ourselves, and we blame it on anything and everything other than the blatant truth: we are afraid.


Afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of hurting people, afraid of being hurt, afraid of change, afraid of letting go, afraid of getting left behind. The majority of the time we can be perfectly "normal" functioning adults, but every now and then, it sneaks out and blindsides us. We indulge in self-pity and self-doubt, and then we remember that we can only feel and be inferior by our own consent (Eleanor Roosevelt). As Lady Gaga reminds us "There is nothing wrong with loving who you are...so hold your head up girl and you'll go far." or in the Pink version "Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect".


While we are far from perfect, it is true that as long as we are doing our best we are doing perfectly fine. And a day every now and then to remind ourselves that we are beautiful daughters of God can't hurt at all. Remembering that "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (18:10), remembering that God is our perfect Father with more love for us than we can ever understand. Isn't it interesting how often the counsel we find in the scriptures is to remember? Remember the love of God, remember His mercy, remember how He never leaves us comfortless. And remember that "When heaven’s promises sometimes seem afar off, I pray that each of us will embrace these exceeding great and precious promises and never let go. And just as God remembered Rachel, God will remember you." (Spencer Condie)


So here to hope, to remembering who we are, where we came from, and where we are going!



03 January 2012

Slacker, procrastinator...

What do you mean I haven't posted for 2 months??!?! It cannot possibly have been that long. I managed to escape this last semester relatively unscathed, and my GPA didn't take to hard of a hit. I passed Christmas in Seattle and made a pros and cons list about graduate school there. It follows:

Pro                                                  Con
Humidity = Curly hair                                 Rain (and the fact I HATE driving on wet roads)
Sisters & their children                               Granola people
It's not Provo                                         Liberal extremists
No snow                                              Humidity = frizzy hair
                                                       No snow
                                                       Traffic
                                                       Ridiculous costs and taxes

But really when it comes down to it, the pro list is heavily weighted in favor of Seattle  so it is anyone's game. Graduate school applications are progressing; I was hoping to have them completely finished by now, but no... Seattle, while fun, was very unproductive. Life has started again. I am off to an endless battle of schedules, sleep, work, classes, homework, grad. applications, and dieting! Thank goodness graduation is looming only 107 days away!