March Madness is in full swing! Spring has arrived and I escaped Saint Patty's Day without a single pinch. The blossoms are in full bloom and a fine mist of yellow pollen is covering every surface of the South. We are three months into the new year, and it is time for me to make an accounting of my progress on my Resolutions as I promised that I would.
1. I resolve to read the Book of Mormon entirely at least once.I have not been reading the Book of Mormon consecutively yet this year so I have made no progress towards this goal. I have not failed on this goal in just haven't made any progress towards finishing the Book of Mormon this year. I am setting a sub-goal of getting through Mosiah before my next accounting in June.
2. I resolve to write in my journal once a week.
I have written in my journal twice in the last three months. Needless to say I accounting currently failing miserably at this resolution. Isn't it great that I still have 9 months to get it right?!
I have written in my journal twice in the last three months. Needless to say I accounting currently failing miserably at this resolution. Isn't it great that I still have 9 months to get it right?!
3. I resolve to blog once a quarter (even if it is just an accounting of my progress).
Check! I have been pondering this post since March first and I
have been excited to report on the goals I am succeeding at and dreading to report my failure. I have found so much motivation to try harder and keep working at the things I am not doing well at knowing that I will be making an honest report of the end results.Check! I have been pondering this post since March first and I
4. I resolve to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
This resolution I have not been 100% successful at, but in the last three months there have been only about 10 days when I didn't get 8 cups of water and usually I got at least 10! Yay for water! I have noticed that I am less tired and generally feel better the days I have enough water!
This resolution I have not been 100% successful at, but in the last three months there have been only about 10 days when I didn't get 8 cups of water and usually I got at least 10! Yay for water! I have noticed that I am less tired and generally feel better the days I have enough water!
5. I resolve to exercise for 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week.
Fail! I did really good for the first three weeks, and then the last week of January I caught some bug and stopped working out regularly. And it has been quite hard to start up regularly again. I am still working at it, but I have a long way to go before December.
Fail! I did really good for the first three weeks, and then the last week of January I caught some bug and stopped working out regularly. And it has been quite hard to start up regularly again. I am still working at it, but I have a long way to go before December.
6. I resolve to complete two Personal Progress Value Projects (Faith and Virtue).I am going at a snails pace! I have completed one value experience for Faith and one for Virtue. At this rate in will not finish by December 31st, so for a sub goal I now need to complete two value experiences a month in order to give myself time to finish the value projects! I have loved going through the personal progress book and studying the scriptures in order to pass off my value experiences. I am grateful for the opportunity to "experiment" with the principles of Faith and Virtue and increase my testimony of them. I feel like any one who is feeling stagnant in their spiritual progression just needs to work on some personal progress to feel the Fire of the Covenant burn brightly in their hearts.
7. I resolve to not drink soda at all, not even diet, not even when I am really tired or have a migraine.
100%! It has actually been easier than expected. I did invest in some Excedrin to go in my car, but I have only needed it once!
100%! It has actually been easier than expected. I did invest in some Excedrin to go in my car, but I have only needed it once!
8. I resolve to set a bedtime, and stick with it (being realistic I am starting with 11:30 PM). Fail. Again I did really well the first week or so but my night owl tendencies have exerted themselves forcefully. I have been in bed prior to 11:30 every night but not generally asleep. I am still working at it!
9. I resolve to not eat from a drive thru.
Massive fail. I kind of even forgot this was one of my Resolutions. Time to start over!
Massive fail. I kind of even forgot this was one of my Resolutions. Time to start over!
10. I resolve to be on social media less (Facebook).
I think I have done well will this.... maybe. I guess this wasn't really a measurable goal (at least I didn't identify a way to measure it).
I think I have done well will this.... maybe. I guess this wasn't really a measurable goal (at least I didn't identify a way to measure it).
11. I resolve to not eat dessert (or sugary food/drinks) until my birthday in 2016.99.9% win. I had a dollop of whipped cream with some crumbs of cake one day a week or so ago. In substance abuse mindset, I lapsed but did not relapse. I definitely have had a lot of difficulty not eating dessert this last month. It all started when I involuntarily committed a client. It was a clear situation were she was a danger to herself and others, but it was a difficult thing to testify before the magistrate that she was not of sound mind.
I had an intense urge to have and milkshake as I drove home that night. That was the first real craving I had this year and they have come more often and more strongly ever since. As of today I have 79 days down and 224 days left. This resolution had made planning my birthday very exciting. I have been playing out what dessert I will indulge in come October. I am planning my relapse and it is very fun!
Now my gut says to end my post here and avoid my usual book length rants, but I have too many thoughts running through my mind to stop now.
Yesterday I was sitting in the celestial room of the Raleigh Temple and I picked up the Book of Mormon to read through Alma 5 for one of the Value Projects for Virtue. As in started reading I was delighted to realize that the book was in Spanish and with my mind turned to the covenants that I have made I read through the questions that Alma poses to the people of Zarahemla. My heart was touched and I felt eager to write in my journal my answers that I gave to the Lord as I pondered that passage of scripture.
Then following that fantastic experience, I was attending the adult session of Stake conference and I was edified. As we reasoned together with Elder Kopischke regarding faith, I was encouraged to experiment to increase my faith in the Lord Jesus the Christ. Being mindful of the questions Alma asked three of my favorites resonated in my mind throughout the meeting and on my drive home. "Oh Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ... And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"
As I pondered and prayed in my heart, I turned the radio to K-Love and there coming through the speakers were the following lyrics:
"No regrets, not this time, I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind. Let Your love make me whole...‘Cause just okay is not enough. I don't wanna go through the motions; I don't wanna go one more day... I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?'"
It was the perfect ending to a beautiful day. These lyrics put into words the feelings in my heart as I thought about what "experiments" I am going to be making over the next weeks and months. What an awesome invitation and prayer to experiment on the Word and increase our faith and give everything so that we can say with a resounding YES "I have received His image in my countenance. I have had a mighty change of heart and I have sung the song of redeeming love. I still sing it now!"
What love I feel for the Savior! How grateful I am that through His atonement I can improve and do better on my Resolutions and in obedience to His commandments! How glad I am that even though there were questions that I answered with less than 100% confidence, I can change and I can experiment until the day when my "confidence [shall] wax strong in the presence of God" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45). I want to be able to say "I have given everything."
If you feel so inclined to take personal inventory of your standing before God, I have included the questions from Alma 5 (or you can go to the source itself):
1. have you sufficiently retained in remembrance the captivity of your fathers?
2. have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering towards them?
3. And moreover, have ye sufficiently retained in remembrance that he has delivered their souls from hell?
4. were they destroyed?
5. were the bands of death broken, and the chains of hell which encircled them about, were they loosed?
6. on what conditions are they saved?
7. what grounds had they to hope for salvation?
8. What is the cause of their being loosed from the bands of death, yea, and also the chains of hell?
9. did not my father Alma believe in the words which were delivered by the mouth of Abinadi?
10. And was he not a holy prophet?
11. Did he not speak the words of God, and my father Alma believe them?
12. And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God?
13. Have ye received his image in your countenances?
14. Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
15. Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?
16. Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?
17. I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?
18. Or do ye imagine to yourselves that ye can lie unto the Lord in that day, and say—Lord, our works have been righteous works upon the face of the earth—and that he will save you?
19. Or otherwise, can ye imagine yourselves brought before the tribunal of God with your souls filled with guilt and remorse, having a remembrance of all your guilt, yea, a perfect remembrance of all your wickedness, yea, a remembrance that ye have set at defiance the commandments of God?
20. I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?
21. I say unto you, can ye think of being saved when you have yielded yourselves to become subjects to the devil?
22. I ask of you, my brethren, how will any of you feel, if ye shall stand before the bar of God, having your garments stained with blood and all manner of filthiness?
23. Behold, what will these things testify against you?
24. Behold will they not testify that ye are murderers, yea, and also that ye are guilty of all manner of wickedness?
25. Behold, my brethren, do ye suppose that such an one can have a place to sit down in the kingdom of God, with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob, and also all the holy prophets, whose garments are cleansed and are spotless, pure and white?
26. And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?
27. Have ye walked, keeping yourselves blameless before God?
28. Could ye say, if ye were called to die at this time, within yourselves, that ye have been sufficiently humble?
29. That your garments have been cleansed and made white through the blood of Christ, who will come to redeem his people from their sins?
30. Behold, are ye stripped of pride?
31. Behold, I say, is there one among you who is not stripped of envy?
32. And again I say unto you, is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother, or that heapeth upon him persecutions?
33. if ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd, of what fold are ye?
34. Behold, I say unto you, that the devil is your shepherd, and ye are of his fold; and now, who can deny this?
35. And this is not all. Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself?
36. can ye withstand these sayings;
37. yea, can ye lay aside these things, and trample the Holy One under your feet;
38. yea, can ye be puffed up in the pride of your hearts;
39. yea, will ye still persist in the wearing of costly apparel and setting your hearts upon the vain things of the world, upon your riches?
40. Yea, will ye persist in supposing that ye are better one than another;
41. yea, will ye persist in the persecution of your brethren, who humble themselves and do walk after the holy order of God, wherewith they have been brought into this church, having been sanctified by the Holy Spirit, and they do bring forth works which are meet for repentance—
42. Yea, and will you persist in turning your backs upon the poor, and the needy, and in withholding your substance from them?
43. For the names of the righteous shall be written in the book of life, and unto them will I grant an inheritance at my right hand. And now, my brethren, what have ye to say against this?
3. And moreover, have ye sufficiently retained in remembrance that he has delivered their souls from hell?
4. were they destroyed?
5. were the bands of death broken, and the chains of hell which encircled them about, were they loosed?
6. on what conditions are they saved?
7. what grounds had they to hope for salvation?
8. What is the cause of their being loosed from the bands of death, yea, and also the chains of hell?
9. did not my father Alma believe in the words which were delivered by the mouth of Abinadi?
10. And was he not a holy prophet?
11. Did he not speak the words of God, and my father Alma believe them?
12. And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God?
13. Have ye received his image in your countenances?
14. Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
15. Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?
16. Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?
17. I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?
18. Or do ye imagine to yourselves that ye can lie unto the Lord in that day, and say—Lord, our works have been righteous works upon the face of the earth—and that he will save you?
19. Or otherwise, can ye imagine yourselves brought before the tribunal of God with your souls filled with guilt and remorse, having a remembrance of all your guilt, yea, a perfect remembrance of all your wickedness, yea, a remembrance that ye have set at defiance the commandments of God?
20. I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?
21. I say unto you, can ye think of being saved when you have yielded yourselves to become subjects to the devil?
22. I ask of you, my brethren, how will any of you feel, if ye shall stand before the bar of God, having your garments stained with blood and all manner of filthiness?
23. Behold, what will these things testify against you?
24. Behold will they not testify that ye are murderers, yea, and also that ye are guilty of all manner of wickedness?
25. Behold, my brethren, do ye suppose that such an one can have a place to sit down in the kingdom of God, with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob, and also all the holy prophets, whose garments are cleansed and are spotless, pure and white?
26. And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?
27. Have ye walked, keeping yourselves blameless before God?
28. Could ye say, if ye were called to die at this time, within yourselves, that ye have been sufficiently humble?
29. That your garments have been cleansed and made white through the blood of Christ, who will come to redeem his people from their sins?
30. Behold, are ye stripped of pride?
31. Behold, I say, is there one among you who is not stripped of envy?
32. And again I say unto you, is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother, or that heapeth upon him persecutions?
33. if ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd, of what fold are ye?
34. Behold, I say unto you, that the devil is your shepherd, and ye are of his fold; and now, who can deny this?
35. And this is not all. Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself?
36. can ye withstand these sayings;
37. yea, can ye lay aside these things, and trample the Holy One under your feet;
38. yea, can ye be puffed up in the pride of your hearts;
39. yea, will ye still persist in the wearing of costly apparel and setting your hearts upon the vain things of the world, upon your riches?
40. Yea, will ye persist in supposing that ye are better one than another;
41. yea, will ye persist in the persecution of your brethren, who humble themselves and do walk after the holy order of God, wherewith they have been brought into this church, having been sanctified by the Holy Spirit, and they do bring forth works which are meet for repentance—
42. Yea, and will you persist in turning your backs upon the poor, and the needy, and in withholding your substance from them?
43. For the names of the righteous shall be written in the book of life, and unto them will I grant an inheritance at my right hand. And now, my brethren, what have ye to say against this?
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