Who Am I (A New Year's Resolution)

I find myself sitting in an airport on New Year's Eve wishing I had a pad of paper to write out my list of New Year's Resolutions (since I don't have that I am blogging, on my phone...). Now for people who know me well, this may come as a shock. I am generally oposed to New Year's Resolutions  (to be referred to as NYRs for the duration of the post) because I feel that a year long goal is not very SMART. I have taught enough classes on goals to insist that they should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and TIMELY. My great complaint about NYRs is that they are not timely! I am all for daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly goals, but I feel that yearly goals are unrealistically untimely. We set ourselves up for failure. Getting down off my soapbox, I am setting myself some NYRs.

It all starts with a talk given in a church meeting over a year ago. Sometime prior to Aug. 2014, possibly in stake conference, someone shared the lyrics of the song "Who am I" from Les Mes. The lyrics struck a chord deep in my heart as I reflected on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and its power in my life.

Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to slavery
Pretend I do not feel his agony
This innocent who bears my face
Who goes to judgement in my place
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself for evermore?
Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
And must my name until I die
Be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
My soul belongs to God, I know
I made that bargain long ago
He gave me hope when hope was gone
He gave me strength to journey on
[He appears in front of the court]
Who am I? Who am I?
I am Jean Valjean!

"He gave me hope when hope was gone; he gave me strength to journey on." How true those words echo in my heart! But even more so, how true they will be tomorrow, and 6 months from now, and 365 days from now when I sit down and give an accounting of my achievements or failures. As I sit here my mind is drawn to the Psalm of Nephi, to the need we all have to repent and grow and change!

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

The Lord has invited us to improve ourselves and "be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect" (3 Nephi 12:48). And he has promised that we do not have to climb the path towards perfection alone! We are told that, "if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27).

My NYRs are focused on some weak things that can be made stronger and some things that were good that I can replace with better uses of my time. My hope is that with my goals I will feel confident in answering "Who am I" next December, but also confident that my friends and family will also feel confident in their answers about who I am.

1. I resolve to read the Book of Mormon entirely at least once.
2. I resolve to write in my journal once a week.
3. I resolve to blog once a quarter (even if it is just an accounting of my progress).
4. I resolve to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
5. I resolve to exercise for 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week.
6. I resolve to complete two Personal Progress Value Projects (Faith and Integrity).
7. I resolve to not drink soda at all, not even diet, not even when I am really tired or have a migraine.
8. I resolve to set a bedtime, and stick with it (being realistic I am starting with 11:30 PM).
9. I resolve to not eat from a drive thru.
10. I resolve to be on social media less (Facebook, because we all know my Instagram account is a joke).
11. I resolve to not eat dessert  (or sugary food/drinks) until my birthday in 2016.

To help myself succeed with my NYRs, I each Sunday I will check in on my progress and assess where improvements need to be made. Each month I will visually document progress. Each quarter I will publicly acknowledge progress  (blogging or Facebook). And next December, I will give a full accounting. 

In Preach My Gospel, we find the quote "When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates" (see Thomas S. Monson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 107). I fully intend to use the same principle to my progress on NYRs.

New Year's Resolutions may not be your thing, and that is okay.  But as we start a new month and a new year, I encourage you to set some goals even if they aren't quite so long term. Next year may we be able to look back as Jean Valjean and say that we are not the men we were before so that we can face ourselves and know that we have strived to live worthy of the sacrifice of our Savior.